Book of Circus One-Shots
by Booshea831
Summary: A series of one-shots surrounding the Book of Circus arc and the characters.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is a series of short one-shots about the first time the first-tiers ever tried their acts, when they were still with the Baron, but after he'd met Phantomhive and sort of gone off the deep end, which is why he's so despicable here. Also Dagger's time is loosely based off another one-shot I read and I couldn't get the basic concept out of my head so I'm not claiming the idea is entirely my own but I can't remember the name of the author so... please be nice :) Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 **The First Time**

 _Joker_

Having not had an arm for a good part of his life, Joker would have been genuinely surprised if he was suddenly a master at hand-eye coordination with his new prosthetic. As expected, he was not. It hadn't been his idea to be the ringleader of their new fledgling circus -he still wasn't sure why Father wanted them to be a circus in the first place- but what Father said, went, and so Joker was the ringleader.

And contrary to what the others might have believed, Joker wasn't as in to the idea of a circus as they were. Sure, his new prosthetic made him feel normal, but he didn't suddenly believe he was going to be the best ringleader there ever was. He still had trouble eating with his new hand, let alone juggling. And having lived in the gutters for eighteen years, his social skills were lacking, and the idea of standing before a crowd, was a little daunting.

But he put on a smile because the others enjoyed the idea so much, even if they were still just a fledgling circus, with mediocre acts, who were hardly ever tipped and had the occasional rude audience member boo them, if they had an audience at all. That was certainly not a confidence booster.

Joker was also extremely self-conscious of the clothes he now wore, brightly colored and sure to attract attention. As the adopted son a a nobleman, he had expected clothing that made people look at him as though he was worth something, not ludicrous circus clothes that made him look like a clown and feel like a fool. But he didn't complain. It'd only make him sound ungrateful.

But more than the clothes and the act, Joker had to prove he could do something, even if that something was juggling. He wasn't about to get on the trapeze or the tightrope. Never.

The first time he had tried juggling, he couldn't get his new hand to work right, and couldn't keep even one ball in the air for more than a few seconds before it came crashing back down on his head. They didn't really hurt, but it was frustrating, especially because Father and the others were watching him and everytime he failed, Father's eye narrowed.

But Joker kept going, until he could successfully juggle two balls at once, albeit a little slowly. He was certainly proud, and Doll cheered him on, but one look from Father and he knew it wasn't enough.

"You think juggling two balls is enough to keep an audience? If this circus fails…" Father let the words hang and so Joker tried even harder, getting up to five. But even that wasn't enough. He had been at it for hours, his flesh arm hurting and his prosthetic sore where it attached to his shoulder, the joints not moving as smoothly. He fumbled and dropped the balls on his head so they bounced off and landed in the grass. Doll snickered, but Father only frowned, "If all you can do is be a fool, at least you're a good fool."

Joker wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not, but he smiled anyway, because he could juggle. He had an act.

 _Beast_

Father had purchased the tiger cub from a man who had gotten her all the way from Asia. Beast didn't know where Asia was, but it must be far, because Father stressed that the tiger cub had been very expensive. Beast was determined to do her best.

At first, the cub -who Beast named Betty- wouldn't listen at all. This only frustrated Father, and all of his yelling scared the cub into cowering behind Beast's legs. So she tried yelling at it, but she hated how it made her feel, when the cub did as she asked as quickly as possible. When Father wasn't watching her practice, Beast played with the cub, teaching Betty tricks like sitting and jumping over things for treats and a scratch behind the ears.

She was so proud, she couldn't wait to show Father how her hard work paid off, and Betty did everything Beast asked, sitting and rolling over and lying down, jumping over rocks and standing on her hind legs. Joker clapped, but at a withering glance from Father, stopped, as the man eyed Beast with barely concealed rage.

"You think this is a pet?! This is a business investment! You haven't taught that beast anything useful! You treat it like a kitten! It's a wild animal you useless girl. Here."

Beast gingerly took the whip Father offered, and cracked it experimentally in the direction of Betty, who still did as Beast asked. Beast swallowed thickly, "But Father if Betty does it without pain then-"

Father ripped the whip from her hands and cracked it harshly so it stung Beast in the arm and she dropped, clutching it to her chest. Her eyes shone with tears but she bit them back as he tossed the whip at her, eyes cold, "Again, and this time, use the whip."

Beast didn't like using the whip, but she did so anyway, her arm stinging as she cracked it over Betty's head. By the end of the week, the tiger cub could jump hoops flawlessly at only a small crack of Beast's whip. But she never let Beast play with her like they used to. Beast regretted that, but now she had her act, and that was all Father cared about.

 _Dagger_

Dagger was rubbish at throwing knives. They could hit the target, but not the center, and every failed attempt earned a harsh, "Again!" From Father. It made Dagger wince, and it scared him, but he'd throw again, each time his hands shaking worse and worse until the knife simply landed in the grass.

Dagger stared at it in horror, not daring to look at Father and the others. Dagger didn't want to do this anymore. Ever since Father had suggested they form a circus, it had been nothing but practicing and insults. Dagger hated it, and he hated Father. He wasn't the kind man who picked them up out of the gutter. That man was gone, lost during one of the many surgeries Father had had to change how he looked.

Finally Dagger looked back, finding Father staring at him, the eye not covered in bandages cold and his entire frame radiating anger. Dagger swallowed, picking up another knife to try again without prompting, but Father held up a hand, "Joker."

Confused, the older boy looked to the wheelchair bound man, who nodded to the target. Dagger's jaw dropped in horror, and he was already shaking his head even as Joker set his jaw and moved to stand in front of the target.

"N-No," Dagger protested weakly but Father bellowed, "Again."

Dagger raised the knife, aiming anywhere but at Joker, not caring if it went over the target completely, or in the grass again, as long as he didn't hit the older boy, his older brother, his best friend.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," repeating it like a mantra, Dagger tossed the dagger, and it embedded itself in the target, inches from Joker's head. His hands shook less as he threw, determined not to hit Joker, so determined he hit every space on the board he aimed for, everywhere but Joker.

"Good," Father murmured and Dagger dropped his hand, glad he didn't have to throw anymore-

"Turn around."

Dagger did so, letting himself smile, because it was over and he did it, he didn't hit Joker once-

"Now throw."

"What?" The question was out of Dagger's mouth before he could stop it and Father's eye narrowed, "Throw," he repeated coldly and Dagger's hands shook again as he turned the knife in his hand around, aiming back at the board, where Joker still stood, and threw, backwards, praying to God he didn't hit him.

He didn't. The knife landed on the target, and Dagger collapsed in the grass in relief, as Joker approached, smiling half genuinely, and half in relief, Dagger could tell. The older boy ruffled Dagger's hair, "I knew you could do it."

Dagger had never thought Father would make him throw at a person until he could aim, and do it well, but he should have known Father wasn't a patient man. He hadn't hit Joker. He had thrown at Joker, but he hadn't hit him, therefore Dagger had an act.

 _Doll_

The first time Doll tried the tightrope, she was alone with Father in the dining room, a rope tied from one end of the balcony above to the other side. Below lay only the wooden table, polished to shine, and Doll could see her reflection as she stood on the balcony, peering over the edge.

"There's no net Father," she called to the man below, but he only pressed his hands together, frowning, "And? There won't be a net when you do this during the show. Now go."

"But-"

" _Now."_

Doll swallowed thickly, picking up the umbrella from the umbrella stand to balance as she pulled herself onto the balcony. The rope was rough under her bare feet, and she teetered back and forth dangerously on the thin surface. She stepped forward so both feet were on the rope, umbrella held out to balance herself, though she shook with fright.

She could only see with her undamaged eye, and so it threw her depth perception off, and still she walked, carefully, and soon she was in the middle. It wasn't easy, and she had had many close calls, but the umbrella helped to steady her.

"Now, do a handstand," Father called up to her and Doll swallowed thickly, looking at him with her eye wide. He didn't waver in his decision, "I see you do them all the time child, do one now."

Gently, Doll tried to drop her hands to hold the rope so she could raise her feet, but the displacement of weight sent the rope rocking back and forth, throwing her from it. She grappled for the rope, catching it in time as it dug into her palms painfully, her hands sweaty and already slipping. The umbrella had fluttered down to the floor, and Doll frantically tried to pull herself back up, but all of her strength had left her, and she knew she was going to fall and be seriously hurt, or maybe even die.

Terrified, Doll did the only thing she could think of: she called for her Big Brother.

"JOKER!"

The rope buckled a little, and Doll noticed it was coming undone from where it was tied on the opposite side. Stuck in the middle, even if it fell and Doll rode out the fall, she would crash into one of the pillars still some fifteen feet up, and then fall to the ground.

The door to the dining room was shoved open and Joker took one look at Doll's predicament before racing to stand beneath her, having to climb onto the table. He held out his arms, giving her a reassuring smile, "Let go Doll, I've got ya."

Swallowing thickly, Doll did as he asked, trusting he would catch her, and catch her he did, her momentum sending him to his knees, but he had caught her, and she was safe. Trembling with fright and crying nearly hysterically, Doll clung to her Big Brother as tight as she could, knowing she would have to get back on the tightrope sooner or later.

Father wasn't pleased with Joker's interference, but after the table was wiped clean, the rope resecured and Doll's umbrella retrieved, he was allowed to stay and watch, to catch her again if she needed it. Doll's face still shone with tears as she tried to swallow them, trying to forget that for saving her, Joker had received a slap from Father. It wasn't her fault, that was what Joker said.

Taking deep breaths, reassured that Joker would save her if she fell, but not wanting to give Father another reason to hurt him, Doll walked the whole tightrope, only wobbling once or twice. Slow and steady, that was the key, and on her third successful walk, she did that handstand, and she didn't fall. Doll had her act.

 _Jumbo_

Jumbo was quite literally the definition of a gentle giant. He didn't like hurting others, with words or physically, and he didn't like the idea of breathing fire, even if it was what Father wanted. It was simple, Father had said. All Jumbo had to do was spit at the torch with fuel that he held in his mouth.

"If you breathe in, you'll get burned," the man had warned, and Jumbo nodded, not saying a word. The first time he tried, the result wasn't nearly spectacular enough for Father, and so Jumbo tried again. Holding the fuel in his mouth without swallowing wasn't too hard, until he sneezed, sending a powerful burst of fire into the air that had the others clapping and Father nodding in satisfaction. But Jumbo had accidentally swallowed some of the fuel, and he was sick for days, the others tending to him and fretting over him as Doc took care of him.

"You don't swallow the fuel, you imbecile," Father had barked harshly, but the next time Jumbo breathed fire, the blaze was just as impressive as when he had sneezed, and Father gave his approval, so Jumbo had an act.

 _Peter and Wendy_

They had always been together, nearly inseparable, and so it only made sense that Peter and Wendy had a joint act. Father proposed trapeze, and just like the other acts, there were many things that could go wrong if you were inexperienced.

Pushing off from the makeshift platform in the yard wasn't hard. Jumping off, catching, and dangling from your legs was hard, but Peter wasn't about to let that idiot in a wheelchair think he was weak. Peter jumped first, catching the other trapeze bar flawlessly and smugly performing as though he were a professional. Father hadn't praised him, but he hadn't insulted him either.

Peter didn't really care what that man thought anyhow. He did care about Wendy, however, so when Father told her to let go, and told Peter to catch her, Peter knew he couldn't let her go. He'd catch her, and he would hold on, refusing to let her fall. And he did. Less smugly than before, because this wasn't about him, this was about Wendy, who smiled up at him as they swung back and forth, "Thanks fer catching me."

Peter snorted, "Like I'd drop you."

They finished their joint act, and while the others congratulated them on such a good job, with so little mistakes, the two adults trapped as children cast a glance to Father, Baron Kelvin, who was watching them with an unreadable expression. Peter took Wendy's hand and she squeezed reassuringly. Yes, this first try had gone well, but they knew it could just have easily gone badly. But Peter was sure he'd never let Wendy fall, just as she'd never let him fall. If that was what that stupid man wanted, they would do it.

 _Snake_

Having spent a majority of his life in a cage, being ogled at and taunted, Snake wasn't extremely excited to perform in front of people. It was just like the cage, except there was no cage. But they were still going to whisper and point and laugh. Snake was determined to try, however, for his new friends, his family, the first-tier members of Noah's Ark Circus.

He could talk to snakes, that was true, but that wasn't an act, and so Joker decided that Snake should perform some sort of dance. Though his snakes listened, they had a hard time moving as quickly as he needed, or not getting in each other's way. After every failed attempt, Snake expected yelling, and insults from the others, but Joker always smiled encouragingly, "Good try. You'll get it, don't worry." Their unwavering faith in his abilities had Snake determined to get it right, and when he did, they all clapped, and Doll hugged him tightly, cheering for him. And it made Snake smile, this kindness and encouragement.

What Snake didn't know, was that while they were trying to help him to do better, the first-tier members also wanted him to get it without incentive. They wanted him to learn his act and do it well, so that he felt proud when he finally got it. They wanted him to enjoy it. They didn't want him to learn it out of fear.

Joker didn't ever want Snake to feel his act was worthless or his efforts useless.

Beast wanted Snake to figure out his act all on his own, the way he wanted, without someone interfering.

Dagger didn't want Snake to think anyone was ever in danger if he failed.

Doll wanted Snake to like what he did, and to never get hurt doing it.

Jumbo never wanted Snake to feel as though his failures made him stupid.

Wendy didn't want Snake to push himself to do what he couldn't. Peter didn't care, but if he did, he wouldn't want Snake to feel pressured to do anything he didn't want to do.

They never wanted anyone to feel as they had, learning the acts they did. For every moment they enjoyed them, there was that second of remembering of their first time. Of how Father had made them feel, of what he made them do. Just like he was doing now. So if Snake could learn his act, do what he liked, and enjoy it, then he was already better than them. He was free from Father's constant disapproval and twisted learning methods, and that was why they'd never tell him their secret. Because Snake was better than all of them, and they would keep it that way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

 **Dreamland**

Dreamland is a wonderful place, or so Joker has heard. The delighted smiles on the faces of the children who enter this land of make believe with only a puff of hallucinogenic dust tell him so. Sometimes, when he's alone, or watching the carriage disappear into the night, or staring at their dull, lifeless eyes later on, he wonders when dreamland disappears and they realize their mistake to trust the smiling man with the red hair. He wonders, when he unwillingly presents their deadly tricks to his "Father" if they even know what's happening. He wonders if the dust has done it, made them mindless slaves, or if something is done after they are out of his hands. He doesn't want to wonder, but he does.

The little girl holding his hand -the real one, made of flesh and blood- is no older than six, with curly blonde hair and big brown eyes, full of wonder at things Joker can't see and full of trust for him, a stranger who does magic tricks. Children are so gullible, so innocent, and he wishes they weren't. Wishes he could grab them by the shoulders and shake them, telling them not to listen to him. Don't talk to strangers. The world is not kind.

But he doesn't, only leads the little girl to the carriage. There are no constables around, so no blood has been shed, and Joker sends the others off with a wave of his skeleton hand. This is one of the easier times, and he can handle it.

The little girl needs help up the steps of the carriage, and he does so patiently. She could be anybody. Most certainly a daughter. Perhaps a sister, cousin, niece. A family will miss her. That family will never know what happened to her. He closes his violet eyes a moment as the little girl turns in the carriage to smile at him. He returns it, her's so wide and believable, his fake and plastered on. How can he smile, knowing what he's doing?

The carriage door is closed, and he hops on the back as it races away down the cobblestones. Another child is missing. Another family will wake up and realize this, never knowing what happened to them, never getting them back. But in a workhouse not far away, another child will wake with enough food to eat and clean clothes to wear, and while it is not a fair trade, Joker convinces himself that it is enough.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

 **Arachnophobia**

Back and forth. Back and forth. For some, swinging on a trapeze bar was nerve wracking, but for Wendy, she rather enjoyed it. It was peaceful, the swing taking her higher each time as the momentum pushed her forward until she let go and leapt for the next bar. Peter was across from her, like always, and she swung backwards once more, knowing she had two or three more swings before she could match the distance between them.

She swung back again and her eyes darted to the roof of the tent, following a single thread, nearly invisible, that swayed down from the top of the tent and stopped nearly in front of her nose. And on the end, just inches from her as she swung forward, so close she could nearly see herself reflected in its hundreds of beady little eyes: a spider.

Wendy shrieked and let go prematurely and though Peter flailed he couldn't catch her. She landed in Dagger's arms luckily, and he grunted with the effort of catching her, "What was tha' about then?"

"Spider!" Wendy shrieked and Peter saw it too. Peter was never one to be afraid of something as silly as a spider, but it was a _big spider._ He swung back far enough to snag his toes on the perch they leapt from and clambered onto it, sliding halfway down the ladder and hopping down to the ground.

The spider, meanwhile, continued its descent to the ground where it landed in the dust and watched the humans frozen in fear before it. Dagger nearly dropped Wendy but held her tight as the spider came forward on its long, spindly legs.

"Whatcha doin'?" Doll asked as she came around the corner, umbrella in hand, and Wendy pointed, "Spider!"

Doll searched for it with her single eye and found it, "Tha' one?"

Unfortunately, Doll was pointing to a completely different spider, and Wendy whimpered. Peter skid to a stop beside them, "I found another."

Three spiders stood before them and without hesitation the four circus performers raced from the practice tent, screaming and yelling, nearly colliding with Joker. He placed his hands on his hips, a teasing grin on his face, "What's the matter with you lot?"

"Spider invasion!" Dagger yelped, tugging the tent flaps closed, "We'll have to burn the tent down."

Joker laughed, pushing past him into the tent, "Honestly. All the things we've done and you're scared of a wee spider. I don' even see one."

The four peaked around him and indeed, there was not a spider to be seen. Suspicious, Doll cried, "They're waitin' to strike!"

Joker chuckled again and turned back to face the tent, to find himself nose to nose with one of the spiders, nearly as big as his hand and staring at him with its multitude of eyes, "Right then. Found it. Burn the tent."

They fled to the safety of the outside, where Beast rounded the corner, adjusting her corset, "What are you doin'?"

"Spiders!" They all cried and Beast snorted, storming into the practice tent. _Not again, really_ , she thought. She swatted the spider to the floor and stomped on it, seeking out the others and returning to the entrance of the tent, "They're gone. Yer safe."

Struggling from the weight of the hug forced upon her, Beast pat Doll's head, "You saved us!"

Beast rolled her eyes, "Just a wee spider. Honestly, every time! Ya call yourself the ringleader!" She shot at Joker who grinned sheepishly, "It was a big one this time."

"Always is," Beast chuckled. Maybe she should change her act from beast tamer to spider tamer.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

 **Cooking Lessons**

Living in the circus, meals were sometimes difficult because their group was so large and they needed so much. Occasionally, when they could no longer scrape by with raw and ready-made meals, they took turns cooking.

Even without asking, it was often easy to tell who was cooking based on the quality, taste, and meal choice. Whenever the quality was questionable, the taste bland or terrible, and the meal choice unorthodox, the members of the Noah's Ark Circus knew it was Joker's turn.

The ringleader could hardly be blamed, having grown up eating as little as nothing and as much as bread, and then being raised by a Baron who didn't require him to cook. Still, he always managed to mess up the easiest of things and never took help.

"Sure you don't want help?" Beast asked for the hundredth time. Joker was in the mess tent, trying to peel potatoes, and had only managed to hack them nearly to bits with the knife, but somehow keep all the skin on them.

"No," he grumbled, and Beast smirked. If it was one thing Joker admitted to hating, it was cooking, but he had to do his share, he insisted, even if everyone assured him he could do his share other ways.

"I brought candy," Doll said as she sat at the table with the other first tier members.

"Probably as good as we'll get tonight," Peter snapped and Beast shot him a disapproving look. Any moment now Joker would serve the meal, and from the look of the potatoes, she had low expectations.

Joker served curry, and while Beast had once had curry that was very good, she didn't expect this to taste the same, so when it did, and it was delicious, and she wanted seconds, she was completely and pleasantly surprised.

"What'dja put in 'ere?" Peter asked suspiciously as he finished his second helping, "Poison so we stop harpin' on yer cooking skills?"

"My skills are fine," Joker assured him but the younger boy rolled his eyes.

Everyone agreed that dinner had been a delicious surprise, but Beast was still waiting for the punch line. There had to be one. So she dropped by the mess tent to help clean up the dishes, finding Joker elbow deep in soapy water as he happily thanked a tall, tan-skinned man with a turban for all the wonderful curry.

"It was no trouble!" The man insisted, "My prince and I are very grateful you bought so much. It will greatly help our cause." The man bowed, a hand over his heart, and then straightened, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Joker responded and the man moved to go, spotting Beast, "And goodnight to you, miss."

Joker jumped a foot in the air, pan slipping from his grasp and clattering onto the dirt floor. Beast wasn't sure if she should be angry or amused. She only grinned, scooping up the pan and jumping in with the dishes to help, "Knew you didn' make it."

"Will you tell anyone?" Joker asked nervously and Beast smirked, "Maybe. Maybe not. Dontcha do anything to annoy me and maybe I won't."

"Blackmail," Joker laughed and Beast shook her head, "You bought curry off a man on the street."

"I tried it first," Joker responded defensively and Beast snickered, "Answer me this, oh king of the kitchen, what're ya goin' to do next time 'round?"

Joker groaned and slapped a palm to his forehead, sending soap and water running down his face. And Beast only laughed, knowing that the next time Joker cooked, she would be the only one with correctly low expectations.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: So this is kind of another "what if" fic, basically Ciel let the first-tier members live and periodically checks up on them, and this time he brings Elizabeth... Kudos to those who spot the Fruits Basket reference! Enjoy! :)**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing**

 **Cute**

"I don't know Ciel, circuses aren't very cute…"

"I can assure you Eliz- uh, Lizzie, that this circus is very… cute."

"Really? Well, if you're sure… I would love to go with you! You never invite me anywhere! It'll be just like a date! Oh Ciel you've made me so happy!"

"I'm- so glad," Ciel Phantomhive choked out, trying to dig his heels into the carpet. This didn't deter his fiancee, Elizabeth Midford, who despite appearing to be petite and delicate, had quite a strong grip. Ciel knew by the time she released him from her carousel-hug he'd be exceptionally dizzy.

When she did let the navy-haired boy go, he nearly crashed into his desk but was caught by his faithful butler, Sebastian Michaelis, while Lizzie twirled to the study door, "See you tonight Ciel~!" She skipped out, followed by her maid Paula.

Ciel kept a fake smile on his face until he was sure she was gone and then let it drop, placing a hand to his aching head. Spending time with Lizzie was always a trial. He made his way around the desk and sat in his chair, closing his eyes for a moment, though his right was obscured by an eyepatch and couldn't be seen.

"Young Master, forgive me for asking, but why have you invited Lady Elizabeth to see the Noah's Ark Circus? You loath the circus, especially _that_ circus… Not to mention that you have told quite a white lie. Knowing My Lady's tastes, she won't find the circus _cute_ at all."

Ciel smirked, accepting the tea cup his raven-haired butler held out, "I know. I told them when I let them live that I would be checking up on them… And just _because_ I let them live doesn't mean they should get off scot-free. Don't you think spending a little time with Elizabeth and her infatuation with all things 'cute' and _pink_ will be a worthy punishment?"

Sebastian chuckled, "Yes Young Master, I believe it will be a highly effective punishment. I know that Bardroy, Mey-Rin, and Finnie are certainly well-behaved whenever a visit is mentioned."

Ciel smiled behind his teacup as he took a sip of the Earl Grey, "Indeed. I can't wait to get them back for all the times they told me to 'smile.' Who'll need to smile now, I wonder?"

"Welcome Earl Phan'omhive."

"I haven't heard you say that since that night at Kelvin's manor. Nostalgic. No doubt you have been enjoying being away from London?" Ciel inquired of the orange-haired ringleader of Noah's Ark Circus. Joker stiffened at the mention of that fateful night but managed a smile, genuine and not as forced, "Aye the countryside has been nice. An' we can' thank ye enough fer 'elping fund us after we lost our benefactor."

"Hmm," Ciel handed his hat and cane to Sebastian and took a seat front and center. The rest of the big top tent was deserted, and Joker cleared his throat, "I wonder if ye'll be our only audience member." He chuckled, clearly thinking it impossible, until Ciel smiled tightly, "Oh, I believe I will be. That often happens when one buys out all the seats. We are waiting for one more, however."

"Bought out all the seats?" Joker echoed and Ciel raised an eyebrow, "Is that a problem?"

Joker shook his head and bowed quickly so the boy wouldn't see him raise his eyes to the heavens for strength, "Not at all. I only 'ope ye enjoy the show."

"Oh, I believe I will. I know I am early, you may carry on getting ready." Ciel dismissed him with a wave of his hand and the man left, uneasy at the boy's words.

Ciel watched him go with a smirk and Sebastian sighed, "You taunt them so mercilessly My Lord."

"People who kidnap children deserve more than taunting. And that is why I invited Lizzie. Stand outside won't you? And wait for her." The butler in black hesitated and Ciel only crossed his legs, "If I need you, you will only be feet from me. And they'll hardly try anything. They aren't that foolish."

Sebastian nodded and ducked back out of the big top to wait for the boy's perky blonde intended, while Ciel watched the last minute preparations for the show. At last Sebastian returned with Lizzie and Paula in tow and after crushing the life out of him in a hug, she sat beside him.

"The tent isn't very cute Ciel…"

"Yes well, don't worry. I'm sure it'll all turn out."

Ciel nodded to Joker who was approaching them, stopping in the center of the ring to begin the show for the four-person audience. He spread his arms wide, a grin on his face, and the lights dimmed, a single spotlight focused on the ringleader, "Ladies and Gen'lemen! Welcome to Noah's Ark Circus! I am pleased to introduce ye to our wonderful performers."

He stepped aside as his fellow first-tiers jogged to stand behind him and the spotlight fell on them for introductions.

"First we 'ave our fire breather, Jumbo!"

The large man held a torch in his hand and he blew fire straight up in demonstration. Joker waved to the two seated above them on a trapeze bar, "Our death-defying-duo: Peter and Wendy!"

The two stood, one hand on the wire holding the bar and the other holding the other's hand as they bowed.

"Our knife-thrower: Dagger! He never misses!"

The younger man tossed a knife at the target set up, the weapon imbedding itself in the wood. He turned and bowed and Joker motioned to the man beside him, "Our snake charmer, Snake!" The quiet man bowed, snakes poking from the seams of his cloak. Next, Joker raised his gaze to the trapeze, "Our circus princess: Doll!"

The girl dressed in white held out her umbrella for balance, sliding into a split on the wire and bending backwards to land on her feet. Joker clapped appreciatively because no one else did, and swept a hand to the center space behind him, where a ring had been lit on fire. Betty the tiger leapt throw it and gave a roar, lying at the feet of the beast tamer.

"An' last but not least! The star of our show! Beast!"

Ciel could tell they were all uncomfortable with such a small audience, even more unnerved because it was him, and Joker was worrying his lip with his elongated canine more than usual. Ciel wasn't interested in the nerves of the performers however, or even their acts. He was focused on Lizzie, inconspicuously of course, glancing at her from the side.

She was pouting, arms folded, lip trembling. She took a deep breath through her nose and Ciel held up a hand to Sebastian, counting down on his fingers. As he dropped his pointer finger, indicating zero, the girl stood up and her shrill voice echoed through the tent, halting all movement.

"Stop! Stop, stop stop! This isn't cute at all! The tent isn't cute, their costumes aren't cute, and their acts aren't cute! Ciel! You lied to me!" The girl burst into tears as the lights flooded back on, ending the show. Lizzie wiped her eyes as she cried and Ciel stayed in his seat, patiently addressing her claims, "Now Lizzie I only said I thought they would be cute enough for you, but you know I have very little idea of what is… cute. I'm terribly sorry for ruining the evening."

He didn't _sound_ very sorry, and -Joker couldn't help but notice- he didn't _look_ sorry either. In fact the boy was smiling, or perhaps it was more smirking, holding back what was clearly snickering. Lizzie continued to bawl her eyes out and Dagger cast a glance to their leader, "Um… What now?"

Joker shrugged, watching as Ciel finally stood and awkwardly pat Lizzie's shoulder, "There, there. It may not be cute enough now Lizzie but, you could certainly help. You're tremendous at it."

Joker was sure the boy was holding back laughter now, as the girl stopped crying, sniffling still, and raised her big green eyes to her fiance, "Really? You think I could help?"

"Oh absolutely," Ciel nodded and Lizzie dried her eyes, thinking it over. A grin split her face and she hugged Ciel so tightly he nearly lost his balance and his face turned blue, "Oh Ciel you're right! I can help!"

"Glad- to- hear it. Please- let go."

Lizzie released him, eyes sparkling, "Paula go to the carriage and get those things we bought for Ciel's servants! We'll have to buy them new things but this is a cute emergency!"

"I think they'll live," Ciel muttered. The brunette maid raced out of the tent as Lizzie hopped off the bleachers, babbling about cute, and Joker wondered what exactly was going on. Were they not performing? Perplexed, he looked to Ciel, who was staring at him triumphantly, a malicious grin on his face. Joker didn't like that look at all.

"Wha's 'appening?" Beast whispered and Joker shook his head, "I'm not sure… But it can' be good."

Lizzie, meanwhile, marched into the center of the ring where the eight -Doll, Peter, and Wendy having come down during the fuss- stood watching her and she clapped her hands, "Line up all of you so I can see you clearly!"

They did as she asked, more because she was a noble and they were beyond confused than anything else, and Lizzie sized them all up, humming to herself and tutting at some points or shaking her head with a tsk. "Oh dear, none of you are very cute, are you? That's not to say you aren't attractive but… Well, a skeleton hand isn't cute at all! And neither is fire breathing! No, no! I'll fix you, don't worry about a thing!"

She came up to Doll, taking the bewildered girl's hands, "You are absolutely the cutest thing here, I don't think there's a thing for me to do!"

"Thank you?" Doll managed to choke out, completely baffled. Lizzie squealed and Paula returned with a tower of boxes in her hands and Lizzie had her set them down in the ring, "Now, let's see. You first! I have just the thing for you!"

She pointed at Snake, poor Snake who was shy as it was, so shy he spoke through his snakes and not for himself, who flushed pink at the attention the girl was giving him. The blonde was rummaging through a box and came up with an armful of stuff -pink, flowery, frilly stuff- and skipped over to the silver-haired boy.

"You're Snake right?"

"Yes, says Emily."

"Oh goodie! Your hair is lovely but the rest of your outfit is just simply not cute! And neither are your snakes. But don't worry, I have just the thing!" Joker wasn't sure if there really was a tornado of pink surrounding Snake or if he simply didn't want to really know what was happening, but when it was over, their jaws dropped, and Dagger was snorting behind his hand.

Snake had been completely outfitted in an atrociously pink… well, there was no way around it. It was a dress. His snakes, still wrapped around his arms and neck, all wore bow ties, and some wore hats on their heads. To complete the look, Lizzie plopped a bonnet on the poor snake charmer's head, and beamed up at him, "There! Now you're cute as a button!"

….What was going on?

In a blur, Lizzie was accosting each of them, only Doll spared her frenzy for already being deemed cute. Wendy was also given an acceptable pass, but just a "few" flowers had been added to her hair and dress. Peter protested the entire time, and though Lizzie thought he looked decently cute, the man trapped in a boy's body was now outfitted with many, many ribbons.

"You're not cute, you're too mature, and mature isn't cute," Lizzie told Beast, and the busty beast tamer was shoved into a pink-and-red frilly gown with bell sleeves and a poofy skirt. Her hair was pulled high on her head and she was given a tiara, her cheeks red from embarrassment and the exorbitant amount of blush placed on her cheeks.

Nothing was large enough to fit Jumbo, so instead he was covered in glitter and ribbons, a curly wig on his head. It would have been hilarious, if the girl doing it to him wasn't so downright scary.

Dagger was next, and he tried to escape, but Lizzie chased him around the ring and tackled him to the ground, quite strong for someone so small, wrestling him into a maid's uniform outfitted with ribbons and bells, and cat ears plopped on his head.

He looked downright miserable, "I feel like a bloody idiot."

"Not to worry, you look like one too," Ciel informed him as he came to stand beside the only remaining survivor of the Cutemaggedon. The boy was grinning again, that grin full of mischief and Joker frowned, "I can' 'elp but feel you planned this."

"I said I wasn't putting you in jail, I didn't say you weren't going to suffer. Now, Joker… what was it you said to me? Something… Ah yes, smile!" The boy mock grinned and was then holding in chuckles while Sebastian hid his mirth behind his hand, and Joker glared.

"Alright! Your turn!" Blanching, Joker turned to Lizzie, managing a jerky bow, "Really, m'lady, I don' think I really need your… attention. I appreciate the gesture but-"

"What did I tell you?! Skeleton hands _AREN'T CUTE!"_

"Now you've done it," Dagger muttered dejectedly and Ciel only smiled, "May she have mercy on your soul."

Indeed, the girl looked absolutely, positively frightening, her eyes flashing and her grin replaced with a frown. She seemed to be surrounded by a cloud of anger and Joker swallowed, trying to grin, "What I was saying… Was tha' I would l-love yer input."

The anger vanished and Lizzie smiled as brightly as she had been before, prancing to the boxes and digging through them. Many terrible hats and clothes were tossed aside and Joker nearly breathed a sigh of relief until he saw what Lizzie had settled on. It wasn't pink, it wasn't frilly, and it wasn't even really girly in any way, but that didn't mean he wanted to wear it.

"This is perfect! You'll look like a perfect prince charming in this! Ciel refuses to wear anything like it and I thought Bardroy might like it… but it'll fit you perfectly!"

"I'll jus' go put it on-" Joker tried to say but Lizzie laughed, "Nonsense let me help!"

When it was all over and done with, he had to admit he drew the longest straw, because he wasn't glittery, frilly, pink, or girly in any way. He was, however, dressed in an outfit that made him look like a silly prince from a fairytale, with as many sparkles on it as could be counted legal. But it still wasn't as girly as Dagger's cat-maid outfit. His "non-cute" skeleton hand had been covered in a glove that while ill-fitting, did hide it. Lizzie had forced him to remove the clips from his hair and had plopped a crown on his head and he felt like an idiot, but the girl was so pleased, and none of them were going to tell her how they felt. Well, maybe Peter, but Jumbo kept his hand firmly on the boy's mouth.

"There! You're all adorable now! Don't you just love it? I wish there was more I could do to this tent but we didn't buy enough decorations. Next time perhaps!"

"Perhaps," Joker said weakly and Beast kicked him in the shin. It was then he remembered she too had a crown and he snickered, "Princess, I believe I'm yer prince."

Beast's face flushed and she scowled but Lizzie noticed the exchange and cheered, "Oh yes! She's the princess and you're the prince! It's so lovely, just like a fairytale! Oh Ciel, this was sooo much fun! We'll have to do it again- Hey! We should invite them to our wedding!"

"Well I wouldn't say we go _that_ far-" Ciel protested but Lizzie interrupted, "Nonsense! They can be the entertainment! They are a circus after all!"

"But you didn't even see them perform," Ciel protested again, weaker this time. This wasn't going at all how he planned, and Joker was now grinning at him like a Cheshire Cat, "I didn' know you were engaged, _Smile."_

"How dare you call me that idiotic name-"

"Oh yes! Ciel and I have been engaged since we were children! Oh! You simply must come to the wedding it'll be sooo much fun! Ciel and I are so excited aren't we Ciel? Everything will be perfect and absolutely cute! I can't wait! I wish we could get married now, rather than wait until we turn eighteen, but I suppose that's alright!"

Ciel was scowling now and Joker was grinning wider, making the boy scowl harder, "Don't look at me like that you loon."

"Actually, as a prince I believe I outrank you," the ringleader shot back and Ciel glared at him, "You won't be laughing when I bring Lizzie back everytime I check up on you."

"I believe we'll get on fine now we know wha' the lady likes," Joker snickered and Ciel pouted, "I will hit you with this cane if you don't knock it off this instant."

"Awh, come on Smile, smile!"

Ciel took a large step away from him, still glowering, but then his expression became smug once more and Joker frowned slightly, unsure why the boy was suddenly in a better mood, what with his teasing and how irritated he seemed.

"Attention, Noah's Ark Circus, but I have a question to ask," Sebastian called their attention and they all turned to look at him, perplexed. He only smiled pleasantly,"It won't take but a moment, I only wondered what the last letter of the alphabet was?"

"Z," they said in unison and though it felt as though they only spoke for two seconds, it turned out to be ten, and Sebastian held up the camera he had ducked behind, "Thank you, this will look so nice on the wall."

"Do not play with me, I may be a child, but I am the Earl Phantomhive, the Queen's Guard Dog, for a reason. You don't earn and retain that position without being a decent strategist," Ciel informed him and Joker sighed, "A pleasure, as always, Lord Phantomhive."

"Indeed. Check mate. I look forward to the rematch."

The boy came to stand beside his butler, "It is time to go Lizzie, it's nearly time for tea."

"Oh alright, it was so nice meeting you all! I had a lovely time. Come along Paula!"

"Yes m'lady! Jingle jingle!" The maid shook the bells her mistress had given her and the four left the big top tent. Joker grinned, "Check mate indeed, Smile."

"Somebody get me out of this stupid monkey suit!" Dagger screeched and Doll giggled, "I's more of a cat suit idn't it Dagger?"

"Shut up! I hate that Earl!"

Joker shook his head, thoroughly amused, and held out his arm to Beast, "May I escort you to yer tent, princess?"

"Oh shut it," Beast snapped, but took his arm anyway, and they all gladly retired to their tents to change and clean up, knowing that if they ever saw Elizabeth Midford again, it would be too soon.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: I think this one deserves sort of an explanation. Anyone who's seen Book of Circus has surely wished that the first-tier members had lived, and I especially have spent probably hours wondering what would have happened if they had known about the workhouse. So... this is that. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing**

 **Workhouse**

"Father I thought I would go to the workhouse." Joker could count on one hand the number of times he had said this, and he knew the answer even before his Father said it. Memorized it by heart.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. It'll only bring back terrible memories. I forbid you to go."

Joker couldn't help but mouth the words this time. Right along with his Father as he said them, knowing he couldn't see him as he turned to go, "Very well Father."

He wrapped his scarf tighter around him as he left the mansion, even though it was mid day. He rarely visited during daylight, and only ever to inquire about the workhouse he and the other first tiers of Noah's Ark Circus had lived in for a short time. One of the few places they were shown kindness. It wasn't ideal but it was enough.

Joker closed his eyes briefly. It was for those children that other children had to suffer. Whisked away in the night in a cloud of dreams, only to wake up and realize they're in hell, just so another child could wake with enough to eat. It wasn't ideal and it wasn't fair, but it was also enough.

And yet, Father had never let him visit the workhouse. Joker never went against his Father's wishes, but once, just this once… Who was Father to say he couldn't go where he pleased? What if Joker happened to pass by, just to see how it was fairing? Besides, hadn't they begun the circus to make children smile? Should he not make those children smile too?

Mind made up, Joker turned away from the circus grounds and in the direction of the workhouse, a good few miles away. It would be a day's trip, but the others didn't expect him back until late anyway, and he'd waste time if he went back to ask them to come along. So he didn't.

The last time Joker had been on these streets he'd been a penniless orphan, a gutter rat. He had been the second oldest boy in a misfit family, settling disputes, soothing cuts and bruises, entertaining with stories, and trying to scrape enough money to get by doing menial tasks and occasionally stealing, which they had never been good at. Now they were professionals in the worst kind of stealing. He remembered the day Father had found them, huddled under a tarp in the rain, and invited them home with him. Sometimes he thought of that day as the best in his life. Other times, it was the worst.

He reached the train station that took him out to the countryside, where the workhouse resided. Not much had changed in the ten years since he'd left it. Same shops, same people, same dynamic. Joker rounded the corner of another street and looked up to the lane that led back a ways to the workhouse. Except, the lane was overgrown with weeds. As long as he'd known it, there had never been weeds.

The farther he traveled down the lane, the worse he felt. He refused to look up, but kept his eyes on the ground, and was so preoccupied he nearly missed when the crumbling sidewalk became grass, just grass.

His head snapped up and he stared forward, to the rolling hills that turned into the country, the backdrop to the yard they would play in. The bench was still there, falling apart and blackened. And yet he hadn't walked through the workhouse, so how on earth had he reached the yard?

Spinning on his heel, Joker took it in with horrified astonishment. The entire left side was nearly gone, with only pieces of the sides and no back at all. The right was falling apart, windoes blown out, shattered and warped and blackened. The remains of the walls were crumbling, covered in ivy and shrouded in overgrown grass. From what he could see of the inside of the remaining building, it was empty, burned out; an empty hollow shell. There was no door, no floor, no stairs, no walls…

No children.

Something caught his eye and he turned, stooping to scoop up the stuffed bear, dirty and faded from being at the mercy of the elements, seams ripping and ears charred. What had happened? This couldn't be the same workhouse, it couldn't! Father had said it was doing fine. Father had said…

Father had lied.

Joker took a step back and something crunched under his heel, and for the first time in a very long time, he was afraid, afraid to look down and see what he knew it must be. He hadn't even fully processed the crushed skull before he was retching on the ground. He stumbled away from the workhouse, back to the overgrown lane and tripping onto his backside as he stared at the ruins. A fire had destroyed this place, and it had killed all the children in it some time ago. Months ago, maybe even _years_ ago. And Father had lied to them, so they would keep kidnapping for him, to ensure the safety of the children at the workhouse. The children who were long gone.

Joker felt hurt and angry and sick all at once, and wasn't sure which to act on. His revulsion won out and he was sick again in the grass, leaving him trembling and weak. Tears pricked his eyes, and for years he had held them down, knowing that whatever was making him cry was something that had to be done but now he realized it NEVER had to be done, and the tears broke through and washed away the makeup on his face, smearing his eyeliner and making the painted-on-teardrop run. He couldn't help it. He cried for the children of the workhouse and for the children he had kidnapped, the lives he had ruined for the lives that were beyond saving.

Then he was angry, white hot anger coursing through him as he still clutched the bear in his skeletal hand-

Joker shot up out of the grass, his gaze going to his arm. The arm Doctor had given him, told him was of an extremely hard to get material, and very hard to make. The arm he had had for years now, even before they had started kidnapping children, but not before he knew what his father was doing with children he lured.

 _An extremely hard to get material._

Joker thought he might be sick all over, as he stared at the stark white… thing acting as his arm, as white and bleached as the skull he'd accidentally crushed, as stark white as _bone._ He knew it was attached to the nerves, he knew it would hurt like hell, he knew he may very well bleed to death, but Joker didn't care.

He ripped the hand from him, revealing a dagger hidden inside, and with this he fairly ripped the rest of the arm from his body, flinging it as far as he could. It did hurt, and perhaps he was crazy to do it, but it felt so much better to be rid of it. As though he had always known, and the burden weighed him down.

Fath- _Baron Kelvin_ had lied to them, cheated them, turned them into monsters by gaining their trust and treating them nicely. Obsessed with Ciel Phantomhive. How could Joker not have seen this sooner? Beast had seen it. Not all of it, but enough to be wary.

God above how could this have happened? How could he _let_ it happen? And the others, they didn't know.

Joker forced himself to his feet and away from the skeleton of the workhouse, racing down the streets, ignoring several disgruntled pedestrians he nearly ran into, just to get back to the circus as soon as he could.

The other first tier members were in his tent when he arrived out of breath, waiting for him before they went on to kidnap more children- but they didn't! Not anymore! What was the point?

Barely able to stand, he brushed off Beast's worry and batted away Doll's helping hands, ignoring Peter and Wendy's questions about his bleeding arm.

"Where were you?" Dagger demanded and Joker snapped to attention, tossing the bear he had held the whole way home to the floor, "Workhouse. S'Gone."

"Wh-Whadya mean 'gone?'" Doll stammered and Joker nearly broke down in fresh tears, telling them everything. The Baron's refusal to let him go, how he went anyway, and what he found. What he learned. And what it meant.

"He's been playin' us this whole time?!" Peter demanded and Joker nodded sadly. He had always been fiercely loyal to the man they once called "Father" so for him to renounce it, there was not a doubt in any of their minds it was the right thing to do.

Beast and Dagger had removed their own prosthetic legs, flinging them as far as they could away from them as Beast sobbed into her hands, "How could anyone do sucha thing?"

Joker shook his head, "Doesn' matter. What matters is we're gettin' out of 'ere. Tonight. Pack yer things, meet me 'ere as fast as ya can. An' someone tell Snake, so 'e can cone with us."

Weeks later, Joker would pause as he rushed down the streets of New York City in America, as he heard a group reading the paper exclaim over the death and exposure of Baron Kelvin and Doctor. And Joker smiled to himself before continuing on, hopping a trolley to take him to his destination. It was difficult one-armed but he managed, as he always did.

He took the steps of the building two at a time and burst through the door, where he was attacked by at least ten small bodies, all chanting his name.

"Joker Joker! Didja get us anything?"

"Who said you were gettin' something?" He teased, walking down the hall with the kids still clinging to his legs, "Beast did."

"Oh she did did she? Hmmm. We'll see."

Beast was in the kitchen, and the kids released his legs in favor of the cookies she was removing from the oven, "Hot hot hot! No touching til they cool!"

"Awhhh," rang from the room and Beast shooed them with her towel. Joker set down his package, "You promised 'em sweets."

"I promised 'em somethin'," She grinned and Joker chuckled, "Where're the others?"

"Jumbo took some of the kids to the park, and Peter and Wendy tagged along. Doll's outside in the garden and Dagger's tellin' 'em stories with Snake."

"Usual then," Joker quipped and Beast only smiled in return, using the various things around the room to pull herself along to the wheelchair by the door. The two left the kitchen to go outside, where Dagger was seated in the grass with a dozen enthralled children before him, Snake at his side with one of his snakes coiled around his arm and Doll was giving each little girl surrounding her a flower. She gave them a dazzling smile and Joker smirked in return.

"Heard the Baron and Doctor are dead and their game exposed," he murmured and Beast was silent a moment, "Can't see why that matters here."

Joker smiled as one of the children ran up to him, begging him to come play, and he grinned at the dark-haired beauty, "Aye, neither can I."

Noah's Ark Circus would never be the same to them. Joker wasn't sure what happened to the circus when they left, but the funds they'd saved and collected were enough to get this place, and continued donations kept it up and running, not to mention their jobs on the side. Joker made sure of it. It didn't make up for the wrongs they had committed, and it never would, but if they could no longer protect the children of the workhouse, they would protect the children here, in America, the children of the Noah's Ark Orphanage.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

 **New Recruit**

Living the circus life, it was to be expected that there would be new members every once in awhile, who would need to be shown the ropes and a specific spot found for them where they fit in nice. Most new recruits never made it to the first tier (except for Snake) and so were dubbed second tier, the stagehands and back up performers.

Most of the first tiers didn't pay much attention to these forgettables, as Peter once called them. Joker tried to make a point of visiting the new recruits to say hello and welcome them if he wasn't the one to invite them in the first place. But Peter's cruel nickname was right most of the time. Sometimes Joker forgot about them entirely, at least individually.

As was bound to happen, one of the second tiers found herself pregnant and as per circus tradition, the baby born was immediately a part of the circus family, in the second tiers anyway. Joker hadn't even known about the baby until they passed through London again, during a particularly nasty epidemic, and several performers -including Beast and Dagger- were struck down. In the midst of worrying about them, one of the second tiers had raced up to Joker with the baby in her arms, "Joker sir, can you watch the babe a moment? Her mum's down and I don' want 'er to get sick too. An' I've got to help the others with tendin' to the sick. It won't be but for a few hours at least."

"Of course I can look after the wee little one! Give 'er 'ere," Joker held out his arms and the woman gratefully dropped the baby in them before rushing off. Joker was never one not to help out when he could, and as it so happened he had a moment of free time before relieving Doll of the task of caring for Beast, so he swung the babe in his arms so she giggled and he grinned.

"Forgot to ask for yer name! Never you mind, everyone gets a stage name." Joker pondered a moment as the baby giggled in his arms and he grinned widely, "Why Giggles! Sounds perfectly fittin' don't ya think?"

The baby only giggled, so he walked her around the big top tent, explaining everything as he went, even though he knew she didn't understand a word he was saying. Having practically raised the younger members of the first tier before they were all a circus, Joker did well with kids, but he'd never had to look after a baby before. Sometimes there'd be a little one in the crowd who would wail at the fire show, and Joker always made a point to give the child a sweet at the end to calm them down and apologize to the parents.

The tour of the tent didn't last long, and there was soon nothing to do. Joker bounced the babe on his hip, "Well now. What haven't ya seen? I know! Betty! Now don' you worry your little head, she's all locked and away so she can' getcha."

Betty was Beast's pride and joy, and the tiger opened one eye lazily as they approached. Joker was never Betty's favorite person, but at least she never tried to eat him. She yawned widely just to show her teeth and Joker knelt a safe way away, a good five feet.

"Hullo there Betty. This is Giggles. Thought I'd introduce you."

Betty flicked her tail as she regarded the baby in his arms, ears twitching and whiskers trembling. She gave a weak roar, not very loud and not very scary but it did the trick and Betty set her head down on her paws as the child teared up and then began wailing. Joker scowled at the tiger who paid him no mind.

"None of that now, little one, none of that," he soothed, moving away from the tiger and bouncing Giggles up and down to get her to stop crying. He never liked to see children cry either, that was why he made a living making them laugh.

"Joker! You were 'sposed to help me with Beast!" Doll skid to a stop, "Why've ya got a babe?"

"Whatchin' her cause her mum's sick," Joke replied, still trying to quiet the child. Doll stood on tiptoe to see better, "She gots brown hair like me. Hullo brown hair."

"Her stage name is Giggles," Joker muttered and Doll reached in her pocket and brought out one of the sweets she seemed to always have, "'Ere, 'ave this and quite yer cryin'."

Giggles took the candy, tears instantly subsiding as she gurgled happily and stuck the lollipop in her mouth, wrapper still on. Joker chuckled, "Thanks Doll."

Doll frowned crossly, "I on'y did it cause yer 'sposed to be lookin' after Beast now."

"Let's go then," Joker sighed, and handed Giggles to Doll before entering Beast's tent. The beast tamer was on her cot, a cold compress on her forehead in an attempt to bring down her fever and her breath coming in short, ragged gasps.

"Joker?" She asked and he grinned for her sake, "Hey there Beast. How're ya feelin'?"

"I've been better," she admitted and he chuckled, prompting her to join in. Her chuckles gave way to coughs and then she was hacking and coughing so forcefully she could hardly take a breath. Joker pat her back and tried to get her to drink some water and at some point Doll came in to help too, but it was over in a matter of minutes and Beast settled back down with a fresh compress. Joker and Doll left her to sleep and it was then Joker noticed something missing.

"Doll, where's Giggles?"

Doll gave him a blank look and he smacked his forehead, "The babe!"

Doll shrugged, "Jus' set 'er down cause I wanted to help ya. She's right…" Doll was pointing at an empty spot outside the tent and Joker groaned.

"Anyone seen a wee babe?"

"Why? Ya lose one?" Wendy asked as she swung overhead in the practice tent.

"Didn' know ya had one," Peter added as he too swung over Joker's head. Joker pressed his skeletal hand to his forehead in exasperation, "Not _my_ wee babe! I'm watchin' 'er for one of the second tiers."

"Forgettables," Peter quipped and Joker sighed, "Nevermind that. Have you see a babe?"

"Per'aps," Wendy said as she jumped off and Peter grabbed her feet, "I saw a babe crawlin' 'round near Betty."

Oh God above.

Joker raced out without even a thank you, passing Doll on his way but not sparing even a one-word explanation. Sure enough, Giggles was not two feet from Betty's cage, gurgling and crawling along, happy as can be. Betty was watching her with glowing amber eyes and raised a big paw, swiping it through the bars, inches from Giggles face. Nearly having a heart attack as he ran, Joker scooped up the child seconds before Betty swiped the air Giggles had been occupying, vaulting backwards to land on his feet, the baby in his arms.

Heart still pounding from the close call, Joker held the child close, "Well that was a scare, wasn't it? Least we've learned a lesson. No tigers," he chided, pointing his skeletal finger at her and she giggled grabbing hold of it. Joker's face softened into a smile and he wiggled his fingers to her amusement.

"Ya found 'er!" Doll called and Joker nodded just as the second tier who had requested his help came around the corner and Joker motioned to Doll not to say a word.

"Thank ye again Joker," the young woman said as she collected Giggles, "Was she any trouble?"

Joker rubbed his neck sheepishly, "Not a bit, not a bit. Anytime."

Doll raised an eyebrow but said nothing until the woman was out of sight. Joker's shoulders slumped, "Nearly got the tyke eaten by a tiger."

Doll shrugged, "Not bad for a first day playin' daddy. Coulda happened to anyone. An' we learned a lesson."

Joker ruffled her hair, "Aye. I learned never to trust you with anythin'." Doll laughed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

 **Mirror**

When he was alone, he was never whole. He had no friends, no family, nothing. He would stand and stare in the mirror and see the freckle-faced ginger kid, kicked out by his mother, left to wander the streets and beg for food and money. Ignored by the upper classes, beaten down by the lower.

When he was alone, he was never whole, not in mind, and not even in body. The prosthetic on his arm wasn't enough to make up for his lack of a real one. He had been born incomplete and unwanted.

When he was alone, he didn't have to smile. He didn't have to make others laugh to make himself feel better. He didn't have to smile when on the inside, he cried. He didn't have to pretend, because the scowling face in the mirror knew everything, and it knew when he was lying to himself.

When he was alone he didn't have to hide the tears. He didn't have to bite his lip until it bled to keep from crying out, or stifle his sobs. He didn't have to be happy all the time.

When he was alone, he was never whole. Missing an arm, lying through his teeth, forcing his emotions, locking others away. Joking to hide the pain, smiling to hide the tears, laughing to hide the screams.

When he was alone, he thought, and he hated to think, because thinking always led to one thing being thought. When he was alone he couldn't help but think. Couldn't help but wonder if they were doing the right thing, if what they were doing was worth it.

But it didn't matter because he was never alone for long. He made sure of it. When he wasn't alone, he wasn't a broken kid on the inside, wishing he had enough food, enough money, a family, friends. When he wasn't alone he didn't have to think about his reflection, the tired young man who cried and wished he could go back in time and change everything. When he wasn't alone he was a jester, a character, playing his part, wearing his mask, and that would never change.

Until he was alone again, and it all came crashing down.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

 **Nightmares**

The circus was quiet. Too quiet. Even on quiet days it was never _this_ quiet. There was always some sort of activity, practicing, setting up, taking down. But today, there was silence. Joker left his tent and paused to listen, hoping for something, anything, any sort of sound. His footsteps were louder in the quiet, his clothing rustling as loud as the wind.

Not only was the circus quiet, it appeared to be deserted, and there was no good reason for it to be deserted, ever. Joker checked the big top tent, the practice tent, but found nothing and no one. Nobody was practicing, not a mouse scurried in the shadows, no fly buzzed in the air.

The air was strange, thick and heavy, and the world itself seemed grey and dull. It was other wordly. And still Joker saw no one.

He halted his steps, sure he had heard something, and there it was again, a voice, calling his name. Relieved he wasn't the only one in this strange place, he followed the voice to the big top, but he had been sure there was no one there.

But now, lying in the center, there was someone, and as he got closer, the voice grew louder, his name echoing all around him, suddenly too much sound in the quiet, and when he looked down to the speaker, he nearly blacked out.

Doll, lying in the dust, arms and legs splayed like a broken china doll, eyes vacant and unseeing, blood trickling from her lips. Dead.

Joker dropped to his knees, raising trembling hands to her form when it changed, and Beast took her place, just as beautiful in death as in life, her vibrant crimson eyes dull and lifeless. Claw marks ripped her chest open, their marks an ugly imperfection.

He reached for her more urgently, and her form changed, becoming Jumbo's hulking form, still and unmoving, a gash on his head leaking blood onto the dirt floor. Then Peter, just as broken as Doll, eyes closed. Wendy, broken and lifeless. Dagger, one of his own knives embedded in his chest, mouth open in a silent scream.

Joker felt tears sting the corners of his eyes as he gathered Doll into his arms, even as her form changed to each and every one of his friends, his family, dead and lifeless, leaving him all alone. The tears fell unbidden down his face, sobs ripping from him as though they were painful.

"Please don't leave me," he whispered, whole body shaking with fear and wracked with sobs, "Please, please, please…"

Joker sat up with a jolt, heart hammering and face still wet with tears. He swiped a hand across his cheek to dry them, snapping his gaze to his tent flap. It was dark, and nearly silent out. Had it all been a dream? Every fiber of his being screamed yes, but the silence unnerved him, and he clambered from his bed to the big top tent. It was empty.

He raced to the tent nearest his and threw open the flaps, shoulders slumping in relief when he saw Doll, curled up in her bed, fast asleep with her mouth wide open. He smiled involuntarily, but made sure to check each and every one of the first tier tents, to find them all asleep and well.

Beast woke when he arrived, rubbing her tired crimson eyes, "What's wrong?"

He shook his head, "Nothing. Had to check something."

Beast yawned and snuggled back into her covers, returning to sleep even before he had left for his own tent. It was a dream, just a dream. A nightmare. And yet, even as Joker lay back down to sleep, he knew that someday, it could very well be a reality. He only hoped he'd die with them.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

 **Time of the Month**

Doll held her umbrella high above her head as she traveled gingerly across the rope, every step carefully placed with one foot in front of the other. She lost her footing, tilting left to right precariously before toppling and landing on the ground. It was their second day of setting up in the new town, and as one of the youngest performers, Doll was sent off to practice rather than help set up tents. She didn't mind. Setting up tents was boring. So instead she practiced her tightrope walking on a rope tied from one post hammered into the ground to another ten feet away.

It was only two feet off the ground, and good practice, but the rope wasn't like the nice one used just for tightrope walking that was at least a hundred feet up in the big top tent. This rope was frayed and scratched her bare feet.

Doll picked herself up and dusted off the shift she wore to practice in, picking her umbrella up. As she did, something flashed in her peripheral vision and she turned finding a red drop of liquid close to her foot. Another joined it. Curious, she tilted her head upward to the rafters of the practice tent but Peter and Wendy weren't using the trapeze. She was alone in the tent.

She looked back down and felt something run down her leg and when she lifted her shift, red liquid trailed down her calf. Dark, sticky red liquid that looked an awful lot like…

A blood curdling scream ripped through the circus grounds and everyone setting up were startled from their work. Dagger dropped the paint bucket he was using to touch up their sign so it splashed on Peter's head and he cursed, slipping in the paint and dragging the sign down with him.

Joker nearly dropped the post he was caring, swinging around so he almost cracked Jumbo in the head but the strong man ducked in time. Wendy, who had been hammering in the pegs to tie the tent rope to, jumped and the hammer went flying through the air, landing on the tail of Betty the tiger who let out an almighty roar, startling Beast and making her drop the lemonade she had been bringing everyone.

"What in the bloody hell was that?" Dagger asked as he hopped down from the ladder and picked the sign off a cursing Peter.

"Sounded like Doll," Jumbo said as he retrieved Wendy's hammer. Another scream followed the first one and there was a crash somewhere further in the sea of tents and then several complaints.

"Check that out will ya Dag?" Joker called. He and Beast made their way to the practice tent where Doll had been told to go. There were any number of things that could go wrong at a circus and Joker picked up the pace as each one raced through his head. He shoved the tent flaps open and Beast ducked under his arm as they searched for Doll.

They found her in front of her practice tightrope, sobbing her eyes out and clutching her shift in her hands as she stood there. Joker knelt beside her, taking her shoulders in his hands, "Doll, ey, Doll, it's Joker. What's wrong?"

Doll blinked her single blue eye shining with tears, "Joker! Joker 'M bleeding all over the place! 'M dying!"

"Bleeding? Where?" He panicked, looking her over. Head fine, arms fine, stomach fine, legs covered in blood….

Oh.

"I've got it," Beast stepped in and shoved a red-faced Joker from the tent where he was met with the other first tier members of Noah's Ark Circus.

"Is Doll okay?" Dagger asked worriedly and Joker nodded, "She's fine. Beast's in there with 'er. A bit of a scare is all."

"What _kind_ of scare?" Peter demanded and Joker raised his violet gaze to the heavens, searching for strength, "A scare only the ladies deal with."

Wendy erupted into a fit of giggles and ducked into the practice tent to help Beast while Dagger's face went very red and he stuttered out an excuse to leave while Peter scrunched his face, "Gross. This is why I hate kids, always messing stuff up." Still grumbling he stalked off and Jumbo shook his head in amusement before following.

Joker prepared to leave as well and put on an extra burst of speed when he heard Doll yell, "THIS HAPPENS EVERY MONTH?!" Poor Beast. Poor Wendy. Poor, poor Doll.


End file.
